The word itself can bring so much to rise within us as women.
A portal of the utmost intimacy, sacredness, creativity, pleasure and relating. And yet, often, also a nexus of silent pain, ancestral grief, sexual or childbirth trauma, aeons of our sisters’ overstepped boundaries and unsaid “no”s. And from menarche to menopause, the exit point for our deepest mode of cleansing and detoxification: our moon cycle.
For every woman, her most intimate organ and energy centre is loaded with significance. Whatever history it holds, we cannot relate to our yoni casually; its root chakra energy runs deep throughout our being and it is perhaps the most important part of our identification as women, mothers, lovers and sisters; yet ironically it can be the last place we face on the often murky healing path.
For me, a chance acquisition of a yoni egg during a Tantra and relating workshop a few years ago was a wonderful key to my own relationship with my sexuality, fertility, menstruality and overall attitude to my feminine essence. I share some words about it here because it is one of those things about which I get asked often, and yoni eggs provide us with a safe and gentle way to open a dialogue which can evolve naturally and slowly, in its own rhythm. There is so much noise out there about how to “use” them and yet nothing could be simpler of freer than our own unique relationship with a beautiful, symbolic crystal form: for that is all it is, and how we make it work for us is entirely our own design.
My egg is gold obsidian, handed down from the abuelas of the Moondance in Costa Rica. Known for its powers of cleansing and harnessing negative energy, it feels like a powerful ally and immediately upon receiving it I was somehow aware of its strength. I had little guidance at the time of where to begin and so I communed with it organically and felt the need to do nothing more than simply introduce it to my body with gratitude and allow it to gently settle in this most sensitive of places. Bringing this gentleness to a portal so often met with tampons, contraception, medical paraphernalia and all the intricacies and complexities of sexuality, has its own balm and medicine; even without a clear idea of what we might be holding there that no longer serves us and needs releasing, just the act of communing with nature to honour the space can be deeply healing. Bringing ritual and a sense of the sacred is a fundamental part of this practice, and the more we can incorporate this into our everyday activities the richer and fuller our lives become. Now is not the time for judgment, doubt, resistance or mind games, but for trust, flow, curiosity, openness and surrender. Offering a prayer of gratitude to the stone that has found its way to us, setting an intention to ask for its help, and to honour our body and the wisdom it holds, and simply allowing the rest to flow is a perfect place to start. Crystals are beautiful allies in this work because we can ask them to absorb that which we wish to let go of, without the need for much mind-oriented process or too many stories, and transmute back to source. Really, the work is in the body and the earth.
Which crystal you choose is entirely up to you (or the universe, which will send one your way…). Traditionally they are jade in Eastern cultures, but rose quartz (the stone of love) is also easy to get hold of as are obsidian, amethyst and many others. You can work with your egg as often or as rarely as you feel; I have used mine overnight about six times in three years and do not feel the need for anything more frequent. Other sisters I know engage more often with theirs, and it can be interesting to use yoni eggs in conjunction with your moon cycle (in the days outside of bleeding) and chart any new sensations and emotions that come up. I have never done this as I feel very much closed at this time. Instead I use my egg when it comes into my consciousness and never with too much thought. Therein lies the magic: leaving the mind behind and calling in some mystery and magic.
Eggs come in all sizes and it’s up to the woman to decide which is for her. Even the larger ones will find their way back out of their own accord, as long as we relax into it and employ patience. They exit when the work is done; I find (and was taught) that the easiest time to use mine is overnight. Lying, resting and being in the dreamtime. I smudged mine with some sage before I first used it, and do so after and before every use; I recently left it to cleanse in the Scorpio full moon a few months after giving birth and after an intervention-heavy labour, it holds a vast new potential as it sits on my altar. In fact until recently it was too invasive to be fully welcomed but as the healing continues it provides one of many beautiful tools with which I am able to further integrate the unexpected way in which Sasha was brought into the world.
The egg is our symbol as womb-yn: we all contain life potential, whether we can or do bear children or not, with each moon cycle we release and cleanse anew. This tool is an amazing key to know our intimate landscapes better, and a gentle torch which we can shine on those shadows we would rather not face with the mind or all the judgment, shame and guilt which it creates. The only thing we need is an open heart and faith in our own intuition.